Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Amsterdam Craze: Smart Car Tipping

Amsterdam Craze: Smart Car Tipping

If you’ve ever been to a rural area you’ve probably heard of cow tipping. Now the latest craze in Amsterdam is tipping those tiny Smart cars into the canals.

Smart cars are small enough to be parked perpendicularly, which means that either its head or tail is often pointing to the water. What’s a young vandal to do? Throw that sucker into the drink, of course!

The so-called ‘Smart tossing’ usually
takes place on the weekends when young folks are roaming the streets at night. Most canals have a low guard rail that prevents cars from falling into the water, but the Smart car is light enough to be lifted and tossed over.

Once a Smart car hits the water, it’s usually a total loss for the unlucky owner.

Police in Amsterdam have not wanted to publicize Smart car tipping for fear of encouraging copy-cats. However, officers are now paying close attention to the city’s canals.

photo credit: tinou bao

Tipping over tiny Smart cars is a dumb idea, pranksters told


EDMONTON — The Canadian Press Last updated on Wednesday, Aug. 19, 2009 02:58AM EDT

Owners of pint-sized Smart cars aren't laughing about reports that vandals may be targeting the tiny vehicles in a 21st-century take on tipping over cows.

The Internet and blogosphere are abuzz with media reports that pranksters may have pushed several of the tiny vehicles into canals in Amsterdam.

And now a man in his 40s is charged with mischief for allegedly tipping a Smart car onto its side along Edmonton's Whyte Avenue, a trendy bar-and-boutique strip that sometimes attracts rowdy drinkers.

The car's windows, exterior mirrors and panelling were damaged, and despite the outrage of owner Kevin Spaans, amused bystanders posed with the flipped car and snapped photos with their cellphone cameras.

Police are seeking other suspects, but one official said it appears to have been an isolated occurrence.

Ken Lust, sales manager at David Morris Fine Cars, which sells the popular car, said goofing around with it isn't a harmless prank but rather a brazen act of property damage.

Mr. Lust has himself been a victim. Three years ago, he went outside one morning on a property he owns northeast of Edmonton to find that somebody had tipped his Smart car over during the night.

"The first reaction is shock and disbelief. The second reaction is anger because your car has been vandalized. It's the same feeling, I guess, if you walked out and saw your paint all scratched up or your windows smashed in," he said.

No one was ever arrested. Mr. Lust believes it was the work of several fellows who probably had too much to drink that night.

The sales manager spent several hundred dollars repairing smashed windows and a bent gas cap.

"It's an act of vandalism, pure and simple, and I think if caught, [the perpetrators] should be punished severely."

Smart cars, which have become popular with commuters for superior gas mileage and cute looks, weigh about 725 kilograms.

The average cow tips the scales at about 600 kg. Some zoologists suggest stories of hooligans butting over bovines are "udder" nonsense because the animals would resist, making it next to impossible. But cyberspace is filled with such reports.

Some Smart car customers shell out up to $20,000 for a loaded model and use the vehicle's unique look to gain attention for their business.

"We sell a lot of Smart cars [to businesses] that want to use it as an advertising vehicle so they put their company name on it because it attracts attention," Mr. Lust said.

All that attention could also make the vehicle a target for vandals, he suggested.

Photos and grainy videos have popped up on the Internet and YouTube of people using brute strength and long poles to tip small cars and outraged owners have vented their anger on blogs.

The Alberta owner of a so-called "Smartie," who found it tipped on its side, was so furious he posted photos on the Internet and offered a reward of $1,000 for information leading to an arrest.

Another man whose three-year-old Smart car was reportedly flipped outside a home in west Seattle in June, causing thousands of dollars in damage, attracted digs from SUV owners and sympathy from others when he wrote about it on a blog.

"I'm sorry, too, but it's funny. They'll be able to laugh about it in a day or so. SUV hybrids are looking better all the time, ya think?" wrote someone using the name Looniebomber.

"To all that found humour in this story/picture, I can't help but to hope that karma comes a knockin' when you're three shades of furious, because someone else damages your property and you have to foot the bill," wrote Bruce W.

Some may think tipping over cars is harmless fun, but under the Criminal Code of Canada, mischief is a potentially serious offence, said Sanjeev Anand, a law professor at the University of Alberta.

"I think it's important for the public to understand that when you interfere with someone's property and you damage someone's property, it's not a simple prank. It is a criminal offence."

A conviction carries a variety of potential punishments, including a maximum sentence of between two and 10 years in jail, although such sentences are rare, Prof. Anand said.

Michael Vick And Brett Favre Return To Madden

Michael Vick is coming home! Arguably the most fun Madden player in game history is coming back to his roots. After a two year hiatus, Michael Vick will be available in Madden 2010 today with an update. Brett Favre also returns to the game after a brief retirement. Let the crazy Madden Online Franchise Mode trades for Vick and Favre begin!

Brett Favre also returns to Madden today after a much shorter absence. Last year’s cover boy is giving headaches to the EA crew once again. Last year, Favre joined the Jets just days after Madden 09 was released with him on the cover in a Packers jersey. The time table is ironically similar to last year’s announcement for Favre.

As a lifelong Madden player and an ant-Vick guy, I will say this about Michael Vick. He was a hell of a lot of fun to play in Madden. I will happily admit that he was a top draft pick for me when I would play a fantasy draft in the franchise mode. I will hate the player but I won’t hate his Madden game. I for one am excited about Vick’s return.

Vick was a lot of fun for one reason and that was his speed. I also liked to through fades to Alge Crumpler with Vick, but running was his game. The game has changed a lot in two years and is more Vick friendly than ever. Michael Vick couldn’t have come back at a better time for Madden gamers like me.

Some things will change for Michael Vick in Madden 10. For one, he isn’t an elite quarterback anymore and won’t be treated like one. Vick’s player rating will be a 74. This is a 17-point drop from Vick’s last appearance in Madden. You can’t expect Vick to walk back in at a 91. The great thing about Madden is that they constantly update throughout the season and chances are that Vick’s rating will increase with each update.

Vick’s re-emergence comes right in the middle of the Wildcat frenzy. Madden 2010 includes the Wildcat formation. This is where most players will be plugging Vick into right off of the bat. The current Eagles Wildcat has DeSean Jackson taking the snap with Donovan McNabb at wide receiver. Players can change the depth chart around and plug Vick into the formation and have a blast.

I will say this about the Wildcat in Madden 10. It is really a hit and miss play. I have played and practiced it about two dozen times. In games (and practice), it works about 40% of the time. When it works, it is a thing of absolute beauty and receivers definitely get open. The problem is that thrower has such a poor qb accuracy rating that I miss open receivers most of the time. Vick can solve this if you can get him back there.

Madden 10 also boasts a robust Online Franchise Mode. In this mode, you can make all kinds of crazy trades with guys in your league. Obviously anyone with the Eagles has a huge bargaining chip here. The mode also offers a fantasy draft where every player is available and you can start from scratch. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him go high in each and every fantasy draft.

Brett Favre’s return isn’t as exciting as Vick’s return to the game. Favre was in last year’s game, but retired in the franchise mode. Favre will get a little more respect than Vick with an overall 82 rating. Madden Online Franchise owners can have a little fun and trade Favre back to the Packers if they so desire. The gunslinger has always been a fun player, yet I would expect a much slower version of Favre this year.

Michael Vick fans can also put their money where their mouths are. Players can start Vick over McNabb at their leisure. Franchise owners could probably get a nice trade for McNabb if they wish to go that way in either the online or the cpu franchise mode. The Eagles do have a few plays which allow McNabb to scramble if the player desires. The Eagles offense is probably the perfect playbook to run with Vick.

How do you get the update? I don’t have a PS3, so I can only speak on getting the update for the Xbox 360. For Xbox users, go to the Xbox Live option and choose play a game. Once you choose that option, Xbox will notify you that your roster is out of date and offer you the newest one with Vick and Favre. Make sure you save it to your hard drive and you are good to go. Double check once you sign out of Xbox Live and go to the roster option. Look around and make sure Favre and Vick are in there. If not, repeat the Xbox Live steps and you will be ready to play with Vick or Favre.

I may be a hypocrite today because as disappointed as I am to see Michael Vick on the Eagles, I am happy to see him back in Madden. Nobody will ever deny the fun they have had if they ever played Madden using Vick. Favre and Vick are available today for Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 users. The same update will be available shortly to other consoles.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Michael Vick signs with Eagles: huge Madden '10 implications to follow

Examiner Bio
Michael Vick signs with Eagles: huge Madden '10 implications to follow
August 14, 12:56 PMNY PS3 ExaminerMario Mergola

You can say whatever you want about Vick’s actions or his ability on the football field, but one thing is undeniable: Michael Vick is the best virtual football player in the history of Madden football games.

Regardless of how you feel about the situation, Michael Vick has signed a one-year contract (with a team option for a second year) with the Philadelphia Eagles. At the time of Vick’s signing, Madden NFL ’10 was already shipped to stores, without Michael Vick.

Coinciding with the release of Madden NFL ’10, EA Sports’ Donny Moore preemptively stated on Twitter, “Michael Vick NOT in Madden NFL 10 Roster Update #1…once he signs with a team, we will work to get him in there ASAP.”

Time to get to work. ASAP.

Luckily, EA Sports agrees, and no more than 24 hours after the announcement of Vick's signing, Kotaku is reporting that as long as the NFL and the NFL Players' Association approves, Vick will be added to the game via the next roster update, currently slated for August 19. The evident addition of Vick to the virtual Eagles does pose a few problems.

No one really knows the playing ability of Vick after two years in prison. EA probably already has a basic set of attributes predetermined for Vick, but they might go the safe route and wait until he actually plays a few games before settling on the final numbers.

Also, the NFL’s commissioner, Roger Goodell has not yet announced if there will be a suspension for Vick. The most we know of Vick’s playing status is that a decision will be announced by week six of the NFL season. This basically means that Vick could still be suspended (or not) for any amount of time, but with the announcement of a suspension (coupled with a newfound home for the troubled star), the best estimate is that Goodell will reinstate Vick around week four of the NFL season (Philadelphia’s bye week).

The NFL may force EA to wait until Vick is fully reinstated to add him to the game for realism purposes. Hopefully, public pressure forces their hand earlier, since people that want to start a franchise right now get to play in a league including Michael Vick for seasons to come. If he gets reinstated after your franchise begins, Vick will never exist in your league.

Once Vick dons a green jersey on someone’s HDTV, the landscape of Madden football will be drastically changed. Think back to Madden 2004, when cover athlete Michael Vick was basically unstoppable. Everybody used Michael Vick in Madden ’04. Online, franchise, exhibition. Any game you played, one team was the Falcons.

The irony of this is, the best way to pester someone who continuously tortured you with the elusive Vick was to counter with a) a stellar, fast defense, or b) the second best running quarterback who actually had some throwing accuracy. Both these answers typically led to the Philadelphia Eagles.

Now Philly will be the team with which to play in Madden 2010. In every Madden game for the next year, this play could be a distinct possibility: Vick, the backup for Donovan McNabb, faking a handoff to Brian Westbrook, then throwing a deep pass to DeSean Jackson, who burnt his receiver for a long touchdown. It might actually be scarier on your Playstation 3 than on Sundays at Lincoln Financial Field.

Michael Vick being back in a Madden game is truly a unique situation. If EA lowers his overall ratings enough, every team could easily trade for Vick in their franchise. If he is rated too highly, he will be, once again, unstoppable. The balance is tricky, but most of us (myself included) just want Madden’s most exciting football player ever in the game now.

Get ready to run some QB contain plays. Or corner blitzes. Or Cover 2’s. Just get ready to be frustrated.

Michael Vick Madden 2010

Michael Vick coming to Madden 2010 August 19th

Was just on Twitter and Rob Semsey PR Guy for EA just posted that Michael Vick will making an appearance in Madden 2010 with a roster update Aug. 19. Recently Mich Vick was signed to the Philadelphia Eagles on a two year contract.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Report: WB Seeks Online Features For Mortal Kombat

August 11, 2009

Report: WB Seeks Online Features For Mortal Kombat
Now that it's acquired Midway and with it the Mortal Kombat franchise, Warner Bros. is looking to take the classic fighting brand online.

It's been revealed the company is seeking a senior software engineer in networking to 'push the boundaries' of online interaction, according to UK trade paper MCV, citing a job listing discovered by fansite TRMK.

"You will work closely with architects and designers on both the Mortal Kombat team and the advanced technology group to help design and implement functionality ranging from the core network transport layer all the way to owning the final implementation of brand-new features that will revolutionize online play," reads the listing.

Recent crossover Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe featured online play, and prior handheld incarnations of the series have had local multiplayer capabilities, among other ethernet-based initiatives in the last generation.

But the pursuit of a full next-gen Mortal Kombat with online play would help place the series in more direct competition with fellow legacy fighting brand Street Fighter as well as newer entrants like Soul Calibur, and Warner Bros. is apparently wasting no time getting the franchise at the core of its $33 million Midway purchase up to speed.

Mortal Kombat team sheds Midway skin for 'WB Games Chicago'

by Ben Gilbert { Jul 27th 2009 at 4:30PM }

Picked up by Warner Bros. in the auctioning off of Midway Games' assets, the development studio behind the Mortal Kombat franchise has seemingly been re-branded by its new corporate overlords. Superannuation spotted the info in the LinkedIn profile of Connie Gabelein, a human resources employee currently with Warner Bros. and formerly with Midway (and apparently never part of the management that was recently let go from the failed publisher). Ms. Gabelein lists her position as a "recruiter/HR generalist for the WB Game family of studios, which includes Monolith Productions, Surreal Software, Snowblind Studios and WB Games Chicago."

Furthermore, former Midway CTO/now "head of WB Games Chicago" Michael Weilbacher's LinkedIn profile seems to corroborate our suspicions. We've contacted Warner Bros. and Midway for comment and will update this post with more information as we get it.

Mortal Kombat Team Reportedly Considering Split from Midway

Unnamed sources say the development team is in "active talks" with other publishers.
By Kris Pigna, 04/04/2009
Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe

For the long-suffering Midway, a critical blow to what remains their biggest-selling franchise must be the last thing they need right now, but it seems that may be happening all the same. According to Kotaku, unnamed sources say the development team behind the Mortal Kombat franchise is in "active talks" with other publishers to split from Midway and form their own studio.

According to the report, the Mortal Kombat team -- which is made of about 50 developers -- is angered over the lack of bonus payments guaranteed to them for Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe reaching previously-agreed-to sales targets. These unnamed sources also say there's general frustration over how Midway has handled their bankruptcy filing.

The MK team is not under contract at Midway, although there is one catch: if they do leave, they probably can't take the MK license with them, and would have to abandon work on the follow-up to MK vs. DC Universe -- a prospect that, evidently, one source said would be "tough."

A Midway PR rep commented to Kotaku, saying only that the MK team was in "good shape," and that the bonus payment scuffle wasn't Midway's doing. "Midway is not refusing to pay out those bonuses," the PR rep said. "It's the unsecured creditors committee that is refusing to allow us to pay them. They're the ones holding that up."

Midway filed for bankruptcy back in February, after facing a number of financial problems following Sumner Redstone's sale of his majority stake in the company back in December of 2008.

WANTED: Have you seen this beer-throwing Cubs fan

August 13, 2009

During the fifth inning of Wednesday night's Cubs-Phillies game, one Wrigley Field bleacher dweller took out his frustration with the Cubs' poor performance on Shane Victorino.

With the bases loaded, Jake Fox lofted a fly ball to the warning track.
» Click to enlarge image
The real beer-throwing culprit is on the left, the fall guy is to the right. (Deadspin)


Wrigley Field beer-throwing incident

Just as the ball was about to fall in Victorino' glove, the contents of one fan's beverage was projected onto the center fielder's head.

Victorino made the catch, and Sean Marshall tagged and scored on the play.

Sun-Times photographer Tom Cruze immortalized the moment—for better or worse—in the accompanying photo.

Wrigley Field security moved in quickly to escort the fan from his seat, but upon further review, they targeted the wrong fan.

The real culprit was quietly sitting a few seats away as the "fall guy" was hauled away.

The Cubs are working with the Chicago Police to find the real "beer chucker" and to prosecute accordingly.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Read THE Healthcare Bill For Yourself

Un-American' attacks can't derail health care debate

By Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer

Americans have been waiting for nearly a century for quality, affordable health care.

Health coverage for all was on the national agenda as early as 1912, thanks to Teddy Roosevelt's Bull Moose presidential run. Months after World War II came to an end in 1945, President Harry Truman called on Congress to guarantee all Americans the "right to adequate medical care and protection from the economic fears of sickness." From President Lyndon Johnson to President Bill Clinton, to President Obama's winning campaign on the promise of reform, there hasn't been a more debated domestic issue than the promise of affordable health care for all.

(Steny Hoyer)

(Nancy Pelosi/USA TODAY)

We believe it is healthy for such a historic effort to be subject to so much scrutiny and debate. The failure of past attempts is a reminder that health insurance reform is a defining moment in our nation's history — it is well worth the time it takes to get it right. We are confident that we will get this right.

Already, three House committees have passed this critical legislation and over August, the two of us will work closely with those three committees to produce one strong piece of legislation that the House will approve in September.

In the meantime, as members of Congress spend time at home during August, they are talking with their constituents about reform. The dialogue between elected representatives and constituents is at the heart of our democracy and plays an integral role in assuring that the legislation we write reflects the genuine needs and concerns of the people we represent.

However, it is now evident that an ugly campaign is underway not merely to misrepresent the health insurance reform legislation, but to disrupt public meetings and prevent members of Congress and constituents from conducting a civil dialogue. These tactics have included hanging in effigy one Democratic member of Congress in Maryland and protesters holding a sign displaying a tombstone with the name of another congressman in Texas, where protesters also shouted "Just say no!" drowning out those who wanted to hold a substantive discussion.

Let the facts be heard

These disruptions are occurring because opponents are afraid not just of differing views — but of the facts themselves. Drowning out opposing views is simply un-American. Drowning out the facts is how we failed at this task for decades.

Health care is complex. It touches every American life. It drives our economy. People must be allowed to learn the facts.

The first fact is that health insurance reform will mean more patient choice. It will allow every American who likes his or her current plan to keep it. And it will free doctors and patients to make the health decisions that make the most sense, not the most profits for insurance companies.

Reform will mean stability and peace of mind for the middle class. Never again will medical bills drive Americans into bankruptcy; never again will Americans be in danger of losing coverage if they lose their jobs or if they become sick; never again will insurance companies be allowed to deny patients coverage because of pre-existing conditions.

Lower costs, better care

Reform will mean affordable coverage for all Americans. Our plan's cost-lowering measures include a public health insurance option to bring competitive pressure to bear on rapidly consolidating private insurers, research on health outcomes to better inform the decisions of patients and doctors, and electronic medical records to help doctors save money by working together. For seniors, the plan closes the notorious Medicare Part D "doughnut hole" that denies drug coverage to those with between $2,700 and $6,100 per year in prescriptions.

Reform will also mean higher-quality care by promoting preventive care so health problems can be addressed before they become crises. This, too, will save money. We'll be a much healthier country if all patients can receive regular checkups and tests, such as mammograms and diabetes exams, without paying a dime out-of-pocket.

This month, despite the disruptions, members of Congress will listen to their constituents back home and explain reform legislation. We are confident that our principles of affordable, quality health care will stand up to any and all critics.

Now — with Americans strongly supporting health insurance reform, with Congress reaching consensus on a plan, and with a president who ran and won on this specific promise of change — America is closer than ever to this century-deferred goal.

This fall, at long last, we must reach it.

Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., is speaker of the House and

Steny Hoyer, D-Md., is House majority leader.

Posted at 12:15 AM/ET, August 10, 2009 in Forum commentary, Health care/Insurance - Forum, Politics, Government - Forum | Permalink,so just because you disagree with the Healthcare disagree with the facts? Bullshit. I say Pelosi is full of shit,she is from San Fransicko after all right?

Friday, July 24, 2009

I'll speak with your Moma Outside

I'll speak with your mama outside
Current mood: working
Category: News and Politics
Prof. Gates to policeman: “I’ll speak with your mama..”
July 23, 10:51 PM
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Prof. Henry Louis "Skip" Gates
Harvard professor Henry Louis “Skip” Gates got busted the other day, for shooting his mouth off to a cop, and our post-racial, bipartisan president has put his two cents in to fan the flames of this racial tempest in a teapot. If President Obama can mix his metaphors, so can we.
Returning from a trip to China, Gates was having trouble with the stuck front door to his rental house in trendy Cambridge, Mass. Apparently, a neighbor (all the press reports make sure to mention that she was “a white lady”) saw the Harvard don and his chauffer trying to force the door open, and called the cops. The comedy which followed is something out of the 1970’s Sanford and Son.
Giving a police officer a hard time is never a smart thing to do, no matter how many honorary degrees one has (Gates claims over 50). The surest way to get oneself arrested is to act arrogantly and aggressively when questioned. The Cambridge police report paints such a ridiculous picture of Prof. Gates that an embarrassed Boston Globe felt it had to scrub it from its website after initially posting the report. (We have posted a copy at the end of this article.)

According to the arresting officer, Gates yelled at the police and initially refused to show any identification. Gates allegedly yelled “this is what happens to a black man in America” and “you don’t know who you’re messing with” before he was arrested, and police said he was uncooperative.
Naturally, Skip demanded the investigating officer’s name, and repeatedly called him a racist. When the policeman asked Gates to step out onto the porch to continue the discussion, the Harvard professor’s reply was: “Ya, I’ll speak with your mama outside”. Ol’ Skip’s got a lot of class, don’t he?
President Obama, in his Wednesday night prime-time commercial for socialized medicine, took time out to admit that he was ignorant of the facts, but that that, in his opinion, the cops “acted stupidly.” This intellectual breach should surprise no one, since he has previously admitted that he hasn’t read the health care legislation he was hawking to the country. Opined Obama:

I don’t know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts, what role race played in that. But I think it’s fair to say, No. 1, any of us would be pretty angry; No. 2, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they [sic] were in their own home; and, No. 3, what I think we know separate and apart from this incident is that there’s a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately. That’s just a fact.
Later, of course, Prof. Gates and the Cambridge cops kissed and made up. The police agreed to drop the (apparently well-deserved) disorderly conduct charges, and Skip can now assume the long-awaited mantle of “victim of racist police,” so valued in Harvard’s African-American Studies Department, where he teaches students preparing to enter our post-racial society.
This just in: The bulk of President Obama’s presentation Wednesday evening was, of course, a vague disquisition on the need to hurry up and pass the health care reform bill, before anyone gets a chance to read it. Short on detail, but long on metaphor, Obama’s recitation was reviewed by James Taranto in Thursday’s Wall Street Journal, with this interesting juxtaposition:
Life Imitates the Movies
• Morpheus: “This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill--the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill--you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”--dialogue from “The Matrix,” 1999

• “If there’s a blue pill and a red pill, and the blue pill is half the price of the red pill and works just as well, why not pay half price for the thing that’s going to make you well?”--President Obama, July 22, 2009
This booking photo released by the Cambridge, Mass., Police Dept., shows Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates, Jr., who was arrested while trying to force open the locked front door of his home near Harvard University Thursday, July 16, 2009. Gates, a pre-eminent African-American scholar, is accusing Cambridge police of racism after he was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge after police said he "exhibited loud and tumultuous behavior." He was released later that day on his own recognizance and arraignment was scheduled for Aug. 26. (AP Photo/Cambridge Police Dept.)
Read the Henry Louis Gates arrest report: Gates Police Report

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

KFC BATH.....hmmmmmmmmmm

KFC Workers In Trouble for Taking Bird Bath in Sink Used to Wash Dishes
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
By Staff, Associated Press

Anderson, Calif. (AP) - Three employees of a Kentucky Fried Chicken have been suspended for bathing in a deep sink used to clean dishes. The prank was discovered after one of the young women posted photos on a social networking site of the trio posing and cavorting in the steaming water in their underwear and swim wear.

The photos were filed in a gallery called "KFC moments." Captions included "haha KFC showers!" and "haha we turned on the jets."

A manager of the fast-food restaurant said the three were reprimanded and suspended Tuesday. She said no manager was on duty when the photos were taken as the three had closed the restaurant for the night.

(Copyright 2008 Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Oprah Must Calm America's Furious Chicken Riots

The breadth of Oprah's Free KFC Giveaway Disaster yesterday is just starting to become clear. Reports now indicate that the desperate—and dangerous—Oprah-induced public rush for free chicken and biscuits was a nationwide phenomenon:

In the breathtaking and blurry pic above, a line stretches outside the Penn Station KFC yesterday—a line that would soon morph into a full-blown public protest, in favor of free chicken. The manager of the store now says that the coupons will be honored today, as well, so rush right down there, everyone! But the KFC panic was widespread; look at this violent report from North Carolina:

Greensboro Police were forced to block off the entrance to the KFC on Bessemer Avenue during the dinner rush Wednesday night.

The Fire Marshal shutdown the restaurant when too many people packed inside, and many customers left empty handed.

And what is Oprah's response to this public chicken mania that she has sparked? To deny the very real danger of RACE RIOTS:

A spokewoman for Oprah's Harpo Productions in Chicago said they are not aware of any problems with the coupons.

We'd all love to pretend that we weren't "aware" of the problem, Oprah, but we've passed that point now. What we need now are solutions—real solutions, involving large sums of money from you, funneled to the angry public, via certain online media outlets who will take only a nominal percentage fee for their cooperation. Otherwise the Chicken Riots of '09 may, indeed, become your greatest legacy. Of shame.

KFC's Refusal to Give Away Grilled Chicken Sparks Sit-In?

The scene outside a crowded KFC just moments ago, where a manager had barred entry to the establishment, leaving what appears to be a dejected Wally Shawn stuck outside muttering, "Inconceivable."

UPDATE BELOW] Yesterday Oprah Winfrey thought she'd be nice and arrange for free KFC grilled chicken for everybody. Big mistake. The demand for free fowl has been so overwhelming that many people are having a dickens of a time getting their chickens because the website can't handle all the coupon downloads. This morning Grub Street compiled some of the more "heart wrenching" comments from thwarted KFC consumers on Oprah's site, such as "I'M MELTING CAN'T GET THE COUPONS PLEASE IS THERE ANOTHER WAY OF GETTING THEM ???? HUNGRY FOR THE CHIICKEN" and "Nice gesture since I am unemployed and a free dinner would have been nice. I could not download the coupon."

And now this harrowing report from the scene of a KFC on 42nd Street between Madison and Park has landed in our inbox:

I went over to our nearest KFC a few minutes ago...and chaos ensued. Despite the very visible grilled chicken behind the register, the manager told everyone with coupons to leave and that the promotion was over for the day. The people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken...or the cops are called. Racial epithets were being spewed, people who actually wanted to pay for chicken were facing a potential beatdown, and the manager ran from the screaming horde. Oprah, what have ye wrought?

More than a dozen calls placed to the KFC in question have been met with an ominous busy signal. We can only assume a riot squad is currently cracking skulls to save that last defenseless grilled chicken from the freeloading mob. Developing...

UPDATE: The photo seen here was just sent to us from our source, who returned to the KFC in question but was unable to get inside to assess the situation. We're told that "unfortunately the manager is now standing in the entrance and all of the patrons are inside since it's post-lunch rush." We can only assume it's a bloodbath in there. Still developing...

Friday, February 20, 2009

FURIOUS GEORGE,the furious little monkey!!!!!!!!!!

Chimp attack 911 call: 'He's ripping her apart'

(CNN) -- A Connecticut woman pleaded for police to "please hurry" to save a friend from an attack by a pet chimpanzee, according to emotional 911 recordings released Tuesday by Stamford police.
Police say Travis, seen here as a younger chimp, was like a child to his owner, Sandra Herold.

Police say Travis, seen here as a younger chimp, was like a child to his owner, Sandra Herold.

"He's ripping her apart," Sandra Herold, 70, tells dispatchers about her pet, Travis.

With the chimp squealing in the background, Herold cries out, "He's killed my friend!"

The victim, Charla Nash, 55, remains hospitalized with life-threatening injuries after the chimp, once featured in television commercials for Coca-Cola and Old Navy, attacked her Monday afternoon, police said.

Nash had just arrived at Herold's house when Travis jumped on her and began biting and mauling her, causing serious injuries to her face, neck and hands, according to Stamford Police Capt. Rich Conklin. Conklin said the attack was unprovoked, but he described it as "brutal and lengthy." Video Watch how owner made frantic call to police »

Herold had called Nash to her house to help get 14-year-old Travis back inside after he used a key to escape.

While her friend was being attacked, Herold was unable to pull the primate off. She then called 911 before stabbing the chimp with a butcher knife and hitting him with a shovel. Neither fazed Travis, who police said had been like a child to Herold.
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A Stamford police officer later shot the chimp multiple times after the primate went after him inside a police cruiser, Conklin said. Travis returned to the house, where police found him dead. Conklin estimated that Travis weighed close to 200 pounds.

Conklin couldn't confirm media reports that the chimp had Lyme disease, though he did say investigators were taking their time with the case to determine what may have provoked Travis to attack Nash. Animals often do not exhibit symptoms of Lyme disease, caused by the bite of certain types of ticks, although aggression is a possible symptom, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Conklin said Nash had recently gotten a haircut that changed her appearance significantly. Conklin said the chimp had been acting "rambunctious" earlier, prompting Herold to put Xanax in a cup of tea for him to drink. He did not know if the animal had been prescribed the medicine or if Herold had ever given her pet such a mixture before. Video Watch wildlife biologist Jeff Corwin talk about the dangers of chimps »

Conklin added that his department is not used to dealing with cases such as this, and they were trying to familiarize themselves with laws and regulations before deciding if charges will be filed.

Conklin said this isn't the first interaction his officers have had with Travis. The chimp, who was well known and liked in the community, escaped in 2003 and "wreaked havoc" on the streets of Stamford for a couple of hours, Conklin said.

Travis' body was removed from the home and taken to two locations: His head was taken to the state lab for a rabies test and the body was taken to the University of Connecticut for an animal autopsy. Conklin said this is standard procedure.

The chimp, who was known to walk around town, sometimes without a leash, also liked to surf on the Internet and was able to change the TV channel with a remote, according to a Stamford Advocate article. The paper also reported that Travis watered plants, was able to feed hay to his owner's horses, ate at a table with the rest of the family and sometimes drank wine from a stemmed glass.
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